DIVORCE WARS

Doesn’t anyone stay married anymore? Unfortunately for the institution of marriage, divorce is becoming the norm. People who stay married even past 25 years, are in the minority, and to make it to 35 is rare. Those who make it to 50 years, deserve medals of bravery for having the staying power and courage to withstand the ups and downs of marriage through all those years. Marriage is a tough commitment. You must be able to put up with multitudes of things you do not like. Of course, hopefully there are also many things you do like about the marriage. The problems surface when people CHANGE—or so that is what they say. They usually claim they want different things in their lives, and most of all they want a different person to spend the rest of their lives with. Usually, this only happens to one person and the other person is still quite content with the marriage the way it is. This is when the war starts. And the fighting begins. One person wants to stay and the other wants to leave, and the person who wants to stay tries to do everything they can to change the other person’s mind. If there is another love interest involved, which is usually the reason the one person wants to leave, it is best to give up the fight and let them go because the odds of winning at this point are slim. Letting go is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life, but when the chances of your partner staying are at about 1%, you must just give it up. When you are in the midst of the divorce wars it is hard to see the wisdom of walking away. Having been there, I know it is true. Sadly, during this time emotions are intense, anger is all consuming and things are said that would’ve been best unsaid. And once they are said, they cannot be taken back. Anyone who has been there, knows how painful it is to let your dreams go, especially the dream of spending your life with that special person who you married. There is no doubt that people who go through divorce experience extreme pain. But, one must not give up, rather focus on the fact there is always tomorrow and new beginnings. Choose to embrace the famous saying, “Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life". There are many survivors of the divorce wars who have gone on to lead much happier lives than they had before. I am proud to be one of the divorce war survivors. Remember, the pain and heartache will all pass with time. So for now, choose your words carefully and don’t say anything you will regret later.